How I Met Shikmaru (and Why he Thinks Everything's a Pain in the Ass)
by 7th Hokage Naruto Uzumaki
Summary: This is the story of I met Shikamaru, my right hand as the Hokage. It goes back further than even I thought. We were friends almost from the beginning. You also get to see one of my classic pranks and its before I got rambunctious and still settling in into the Academy so I may seem a bit off, a bit OC if you will. Please send any reviews my way...first time story.
1. Chapter 1

***ALL CREDIT GOES TO THEIR RESPECTIE OWNERS.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO…MASASHI KISHIMOTO DOES. I COME CLOSE, BUT HE HAS THE RIGHTS IN THIS UNIVERSE.***

Uzumaki Naruto was 7, almost 8 years old, in school, and bored. He had done all of the usual things HE does in school: sleep, yawn, doodle in his small cheap notebook (full of pictures of chibi-Sakura), and groan while propped up against his right elbow. The only thing he didn't do was listen to his teacher.

'Alright, class', he began as the class filed out, 'the quiz for the senjustsu and genjutsu will be on Thursday. Don't forget to bring your weapons tomorrow morning, we will meet at the front yard at 6 am to get enough practice in, and so you can show…no, I mean, strut'….the classroom now empty,'... your stuff'. He waved dismissively waved his right hand, covered in white chalk. 'Uh, kids these days. So impatient.'

I listened to Iruka-sensei..I groaned… _why must he be so loud, when I am trying to sleep._

Iruka, groaned, "Naruto, are you still asleep after 5 additional hours of sleep?"

Crinkling my nose, not looking up, I said, "C'mon Master Iruka…" and now talking through my yawn, "ya know I don't have it easy. Cut me some slack, will ya? No parents, no homework buddies…"

"Naruto,what will I do with you…..uggh"

At that second as I was opening my eyes, Tazama, the oldest bully in our class, there years older than everyone else, apparently casually strolled down the rows and plugged MY NOSE full of his disgusting anise-scented gum. Flailing frantically to de-gum my nose, I said, "Shit! Hey…..you…You are gonna pay for that stupid ass prank….". He left, mimicking my talking with his hand. Under my breath, I mentioned,"Wasn't even that good, punk." Then, I saw a kid I'd never seen before, do something I'd never dream…he pointed his thumb towards the last guy, as if saying, _what a moron. Even more than you._ He smiled. At me. He had his hair pulled back in a bun top of his head, with funny looking triangular and faded eyebrows. I gawked at him, then grinned hiding my smile with my hands on the table. He looked like pineapple. 'Sorry man,' he said, turning toward me briefly as he left. Left his arm up almost past out the door…was he saying goodbye to me. Only Kiba, my buddy ever did anything similar.

As I sat on my favorite swing in the schoolyard, I didn't feel so lonely. I thought, _What happened? Who is that guy?! Could it be.._ Before I realized it, I felt drops of water on my hand that I had wrapped around my the rope and my knee protectively _._ Cleaning my tears, I started the long journey home.

After a dinner of instant ramen, I tried actually doing my homework, 'cause I really like Iruka and I don't know why, but we have something in common. Anyway, He's nice and picks up the tab for my lunch now and again. He's cool. I just couldn't concentrate on my katas or the recipes for the justus or even the techniques. _That big fat ass_ _…_ _that string bean pole of poo, I'm getting him back_ _…_ _.tomorrow?_ "But how…" I lay there on the floor with my homework scattered all over. I put my arms behind my head. Suddenly, a fly just skirted into my field of vision when it ran into the back of a cage and WHAM!, it was taken down by the automatic fly swatter Grandpa gave to me. He didn't build it, but he told me that my Godfather bought it for me in Kumo. "That's it….", rubbing my hands together, jolting up at once from my lazy stupor. "This is going to be gooood!" With that, I sighed contently, and returned to my hands behind my head and looked forward to tomorrow.

I was up before the alarm even went off….it was an old one that Grandpa gave me when I was four. I loved that silly small thing…It was so….him. With that, I jumped onto my bed, then bounced on it twice then front flipped off. "Ahh yeah…bullies better beware, Naruto Uzumaki, the next Hokage is coming for ya!" Racing to the kitchen, I saw all the books and scrolls still on the floor. I could finish only half of the work, and less of the reading, but its better than I normally do.I gathered up my stuff and looked around for my bag…couldn't find it, so I raided my closet for the spare. " There you are." With the pork ramen finished in the microwave, I ate my breakfast and hummed a little tune that I remember…I think my mom sung it to me. Don't know. "Darn, almost forgot…" Wide eyed, I thought where my friend could be to help me with the bully. Today was the day. I ran to the back room, with the rack of ninja tool cabinet. I was running low on time. The cabinet was huge,having like five or six rows and there columns of drawers where I could put stuff. I looked at the third drawer at the rightmost edge. Lucky guess…"Yes!" Within minutes, I bolted out the door.

It was a largely normal day…Sakura was avoiding me, three rows up….ahh…if she only knew how I felt. She was talking to Ino, I frowned. Probably about the new guy, Sasuke. I went to sleep again. Iruka rolled his eyes…for the fourth time this week. I shrugged. When I heard the clamoring or chairs scraping the floor as people left for lunch… _Yet another day eat alone. Oh well. This time it seems no one will throw cans at my head, I hope._ I remembered…a devious smile tore into my face. _No more bullies, not after today._ As classmates were chatting and trying to leave, I casually went to Tazamas chair. Whistling, I stood there until there was no one left, Just people walking down those steps to the door. I set to action. I tested the chair. Sturdy enough, OK. I tested the screws then unscrewed most of them, especially around the seat…I chuckled to myself, _This guy is going to get it, today._

At lunch, the guy I met earlier, gave me a knowing but concerned face. I shrugged it off.

As the class was settling in and Iruka was going to start, most of my classmates were already sitting. I stole a glance at Kiba then played it off. I knew he was staring at me…I had been avoiding him for two days. He pissed me off when he refused to let me pet his sister's dog. She was cute, but not Sakura-chan cute. Suddenly, a huge crackle and BAM and a groan….I look back with innocent eyes…Tazama's gone, on the floor, underneath the bench desks…out of sight, out of mind... ith the slightest smirk on my face, I watch Iruka help up the student with a look of concern. Then, on the way down the steps, he glared at me. Of course, I look elsewhere.

"Oh snap! Did you see that?! Oh man…Naruto, dude, did you do this?! HAHAHAHOO, sweet, but, oh my…damn!", Kiba said, going from leaning on my chair after finding me then to having is mind blown with his flailing….I just laughed at his antics. I simply smile sweetly and nodded, blinking. Kiba dragged me out of my chair and bro-hugged me. "That was SICK." Everyone else was still reeling from the excitement. Some were I'm sure trying to find out who would do that to the biggest bully in school. Looking up past Tazama's desk one row, I saw him…again…he kid with the pineapple hair. He just gave me a knowing smile with his arms crossed and legs on the bench desk. I laughed and waved. I took the rest of day off. (Except giving in homework when I was asked.)

As I was waking up, I noticed Tazama was still not there. _Yes._ I picked up my junky brown sack of books, The kid was there. "Shikamaru. What's your's?" he said. "Huh?"

"Oh right. My name is Shikamaru. What's your name again? Naruto, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Scratching the back of my head. I feel I must of had long hair at one point.

"I'll be honest. I didn't think you'd go through with it." He laughed. Sounded like a wind chime a bit. " I guess I underestimated you. I heard about those pranks you pulled but seeing is believing. Look…listen, that guy was—is annoying as all hell. You made me a believer, man. You and I are gonna hangout from now on."

"Ummm…OK, sure, sounds good." I pondered.

"You don't sound sure."

"Naw, just joshing ya."

"OK, cool. Let's go grab some food. There's a guy I want you to meet."

With that, we left the academy…into a new world.

 ***ALL CREDIT GOES TO THEIR RESPECTIE OWNERS.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO…MASASHI KISHIMOTO DOES. I COME CLOSE, BUT HE HAS THE RIGHTS IN THIS UNIVERSE.***

So I follow my new friend Shikamaru to a little BBQ joint called Lil' Mt. Mboykaku after class. The whole class waited for iruke for like, ten minutes then we all snuck out. Anyway, we step through the curtain, and open the front door and there stands…..A beast of a kid. I wasn't sure what too make of him. he wore a green jacket and had whist looked like undies on his hair and two flushed cheeks, and he was HUGE. He looked like he could eat me up without a moment's thought. Even so, what shocked me was that Shika ran up to this kid and just hugged him abashedly then gave a fist bump. My jaw hit the floor… _Maybe I can turn back, I don't mind not having friends if that guy just doesn't eat me_ _…_

Shikamaru gives me a funny look. shakes his head, and motions me forward. Gulping, I hesistantly take baby steps towards the two…step by step I get more nevous. Shika shakes his head one more time. "Naruto, buddy, c'mon WE don't have all day!" Like a train conductor, he motions me forward like a jet. As if I were nothing more than a puppet, I jog to them….Shika, quiet for a moment, then said, "Naruto, this is my best bud Choji. Bro, this is our new sick prank grandmaster, Naruto Uzumaki"

"Nice to meet ya…hi." He offered his hand.

I wave at him feebly.

"Naruto, buddy, it's OK. come here." We walk away to the side close to the door and the gum ball machine. "He is NOT going to hurt you. I know he looks big and bad, but I swear he's an awesome guy…Trust me, OK? If he's strong, let him know…he doesn't see it."

"He is just so strong….man, I…." With that, he just takes me by the shoulders and walks us back to this Choji character. Before we get there, I ask," Can I call you Shika….?"

"Yeah, sure we are friends, right?"

"Yeah, we are. You're right. I guess we are." I scratch the back of my head.

Choji is there, grabbing a bag of chips from his blue bag he caried with him.

"Everything OK guys, Naruto?"

"Yeah, yeah..he's fine. Let's go eat already." Shikamaru says.

"You said it, Shik, I'm starving."

"You know it.'

We go and head toward the green booths. Choji is right behind me. I try not to freak out over how tall he is over me. I take several deep breaths. I sit in the inside with Shika on the outside and Choji facing towards the door. Shika started," So, yeah, man, you should of seen what Naruto did today. Remember Tazama?" "You don't mean…" Choji retorted with his mouth agape in anticipation. "Yep, Naruto here" patting me on the back," He embarrassed that asshat in front of everyone." Choji just stared sat me in shock. A few moments passed. I tried to look at him, but it was too much. I flinched and held up my arms protectively. "How did you….what the….What happened, Naruto?" Choji politely asked, while briefly looking away, obviously embarrassed. "Oh…" I started with a lump in my throat," Oh, the bastard did something…" I looked down and balled my fists."He gummed up nose as I was waking up in class. I swear…he must be a teacher's pet or something." I mumbled. " I heard loud laughter—from both of my new friends. I gave them a questioning look. Shika hollered and then breathed out, "Yeah, that's what I thought too." Choji piped in, after a last hearty laugh. My face hurt I was smiling so much. "I knew it…He spends so much time with Teach and then takes my lunch money." Then I saw him do what I normally do…sulk. I was in shock. _I had to do something_ _…_ _this guy is now my friend_ _…_ _.believe it._

Shika put a hand on my shoulder, saying, "You along with everybody else, Chojj. He's probably doing to to make sure he goes on missions this year. What my dad told me is that this is like his fourth year held back and his last chance to be a ninja." We all cracked up laughing…Choji said," Ya know, Shika, that's not nice…even if true…What happened?I gotta know?" Now feeling bolder, nonchalantly I said," I I mad him go SPLAT! on the floor after lunch." Classic! I wish I could think like that!" Choji bellowed out with a roaring laugh. We laughed again…By this time, Shika ordered stuff for us and some mouthwatering smells were coming our way. "A cute Kiri-looking girl brought us ribs, fried rice, steamed rice, vegetable pancakes, and sushi as well as the finest soy sauce. I was given an orange soda, Shika got a chocolate milk and Choji got a dark intense smelling fruity soda.

As the meal progressed, I just listened to the friends reminisce and eat quietly. I spent the whole time figuring out what to say to Choji…Shika was right…he might be big but he had a soft heart. I wanted to make him feel better. "Chojj, if he ever tries to pick on you again, let me know…I'll put a paint bomb in a fake wallet for ya!" Giving him a classic Uzumaki grin. ""Oh, hop, I like the way you think…Hive five!" We clapped palms. _Is this was what friendship is? This is awesome…goats get me some more of this!_ Shika, though younger and kinda shorter than me, with his long limbs and him shaking his head the way he did that day, reminded me of a thirty-year-old bachelor. I grinned. After that, we all parted ways….after some hearty and unasked for hugs from Choji.


	2. Chapter 2

***ALL CREDIT GOES TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO…MASASHI KISHIMOTO DOES. I COME CLOSE, BUT HE HAS THE RIGHTS.***

So I follow my new friend Shikamaru to a little BBQ joint called Lil' Mt. Mboykaku after class. The whole class waited for iruke for like, ten minutes then we all snuck out. Anyway, we step through the curtain, and open the front door and there stands…..A beast of a kid. I wasn't sure what too make of him. he wore a green jacket and had whist looked like undies on his hair and two flushed cheeks, and he was HUGE. He looked like he could eat me up without a moment's thought. Even so, what shocked me was that Shika ran up to this kid and just hugged him abashedly then gave a fist bump. My jaw hit the floor… _Maybe I can turn back, I don't mind not having friends if that guy just doesn't eat me…_

Shikamaru gives me a funny look. shakes his head, and motions me forward. Gulping, I hesistantly take baby steps towards the two…step by step I get more nevous. Shika shakes his head one more time. "Naruto, buddy, c'mon WE don't have all day!" Like a train conductor, he motions me forward like a jet. As if I were nothing more than a puppet, I jog to them….Shika, quiet for a moment, then said, "Naruto, this is my best bud Choji. Bro, this is our new sick prank grandmaster, Naruto Uzumaki"

"Nice to meet ya…hi." He offered his hand.

I wave at him feebly.

"Naruto, buddy, it's OK. come here." We walk away to the side close to the door and the gum ball machine. "He is NOT going to hurt you. I know he looks big and bad, but I swear he's an awesome guy…Trust me, OK? If he's strong, let him know…he doesn't see it."

"He is just so strong….man, I…." With that, he just takes me by the shoulders and walks us back to this Choji character. Before we get there, I ask," Can I call you Shika….?"

"Yeah, sure we are friends, right?"

"Yeah, we are. You're right. I guess we are." I scratch the back of my head.

Choji is there, grabbing a bag of chips from his blue bag he caried with him.

"Everything OK guys, Naruto?"

"Yeah, yeah..he's fine. Let's go eat already." Shikamaru says.

"You said it, Shik, I'm starving."

"You know it.'

We go and head toward the green booths. Choji is right behind me. I try not to freak out over how tall he is over me. I take several deep breaths. I sit in the inside with Shika on the outside and Choji facing towards the door. Shika started," So, yeah, man, you should of seen what Naruto did today. Remember Tazama?" "You don't mean…" Choji retorted with his mouth agape in anticipation. "Yep, Naruto here" patting me on the back," He embarrassed that asshat in front of everyone." Choji just stared sat me in shock. A few moments passed. I tried to look at him, but it was too much. I flinched and held up my arms protectively. "How did you….what the….What happened, Naruto?" Choji politely asked, while briefly looking away, obviously embarrassed. "Oh…" I started with a lump in my throat," Oh, the bastard did something…" I looked down and balled my fists."He gummed up nose as I was waking up in class. I swear…he must be a teacher's pet or something." I mumbled. " I heard loud laughter—from both of my new friends. I gave them a questioning look. Shika hollered and then breathed out, "Yeah, that's what I thought too." Choji piped in, after a last hearty laugh. My face hurt I was smiling so much. "I knew it…He spends so much time with Teach and then takes my lunch money." Then I saw him do what I normally do…sulk. I was in shock. _I had to do something…this guy is now my friend….believe it._

Shika put a hand on my shoulder, saying, "You along with everybody else, Chojj. He's probably doing to to make sure he goes on missions this year. What my dad told me is that this is like his fourth year held back and his last chance to be a ninja." We all cracked up laughing…Choji said," Ya know, Shika, that's not nice…even if true…What happened?I gotta know?" Now feeling bolder, nonchalantly I said," I I mad him go SPLAT! on the floor after lunch." Classic! I wish I could think like that!" Choji bellowed out with a roaring laugh. We laughed again…By this time, Shika ordered stuff for us and some mouthwatering smells were coming our way. "A cute Kiri-looking girl brought us ribs, fried rice, steamed rice, vegetable pancakes, and sushi as well as the finest soy sauce. I was given an orange soda, Shika got a chocolate milk and Choji got a dark intense smelling fruity soda.

As the meal progressed, I just listened to the friends reminisce and eat quietly. I spent the whole time figuring out what to say to Choji…Shika was right…he might be big but he had a soft heart. I wanted to make him feel better. "Chojj, if he ever tries to pick on you again, let me know…I'll put a paint bomb in a fake wallet for ya!" Giving him a classic Uzumaki grin. ""Oh, hop, I like the way you think…Hive five!" We clapped palms. _Is this was what friendship is? This is awesome…goats get me some more of this!_ Shika, though younger and kinda shorter than me, with his long limbs and him shaking his head the way he did that day, reminded me of a thirty-year-old bachelor. I grinned. After that, we all parted ways….after some hearty and unasked for hugs from Choji.


	3. Chapter 3

Next day, as I walk into class, Kiba storms up to me. "Where were you, Uzumaki? I thought we were gonna see the burlesque place? We were planning it for weeks, and just nailed it two nights ago. I couldn't go myself. Where the HELL were you last night?"

"Shit, was that last night? Sorry, man."

"What the heck you mean—" slamming my back against the outside of the door, "sorry? We had this. We were gonna be kings, man. Come on." He finally let go of my already crinkled orange and black spiral T.

"Sorry man I got held up getting back. You know I gotta run home just to make it to bed…", I fib be, although this was true.

"Yeah,yeah, I know, but I'm not gonna introduce you to my older sister's friend when you treat me like this."

Sighing, I lamented, "You're right, man. Last time…You know I'm always good to hang. What about you sister's whatever?"

"Dude, you are clueless. She is a hot brunette with a obsession faith blonde guys…She's your type-flirty, talkative, nice and EASY."

"What do you mean 'easy'…..oh" Kiba, rolling his eyes, flippantly mentioned, "Yeah, THAT and she is HOT. If I dyed my hair…" He grinned. "Naw, I'd never do that to you my main man."

Nodding, I said, "Thanks man, appreciate it, all of it. Believe it!"

"Yeah, but seriously, where did you run off to? I was waiting for you at our usual spot. I was gonna buy you dinner."

"Oh, right, I kinda hung out and had dinner with a cool kid, Shika, and—"

"Whoa! You let a stranger take you out…You could have been killed dude. You know how bad your last b-day was."

"No need to remind, me!" I shoved him back. "Back off, man! I got to eat BBQ and shit, it was tasty…" I looked downcast at the floor. "If I had hid kind of money, I'd buy a year's worth of ramen and go out to BBQ every night."

Kiba scoffed and shook his head. "Seems like a good guy if he receives praise from my best bud. How did you get a guy like that to hang out?"

Giving him a famous Uzumaki grin, I retorted,"Hn. Remember Hazama, that doo-doo head bully? After I punked his ass, the kid waltzed up and offered. I couldn't say no. You understand, right RIGHT?"

Snickering and turning into class, Kiba said, "Ahh, makes sense now. Leaving me and the fan for someone better. I see how it is…." Growing panicked, I started trying to put my hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he pointed his index finger at me, "Got ya. I un…deer…stand." Realizing too late we were practically hugging, he pout his arm around my neck and leads me class.

"Watching this, Master Iruka says, "What was the holdup? I saw you come in half an hour ago. You are fifteen minutes for the first time…I'm gonna have to mark you late. Naruto. See me after class." Shrugging the whole thing off, I sat in my chair and Kiba, smiling, siting next to me, dozed off into happy thoughts. It had been worth it.

Laying there, on my bed that night, my hands pinned under my head, I marveled at how awesome my life had just become: I had actual friends, plural. I didn't have just deal with Kiba although he wasn't all bad. I had pranked a bully and gained a reputation, also. Who knew life could turn on a dime, like it did in my case. With happiness swelling in my heart, I took a deep breath and rolled over, turning off my light and fell asleep. The next morning, was interesting. Kiba hounded me all day.

"What there heck, dude? You bailed on me again?" He growled.

"I—What's the big deal, Kiba? I went to dinner with Shaikamaru and his friend…uh…"

"Choji, the big fat lard?"

"C'mon, not fair." I pointed at him with a sharp forefinger, daggers in my eyes.

"You're defending him? I can't even—"

"Look," turning him to face me minutes before the bell rang, "give them a chance. I'll introduce you."

"No thanks." Plopping down his arms covering his face for the rest of the hour. I swore I even heard him growl at me.

I stood up, schooching past Takahiro, the guy on the aisle and left the 2nd row, my life, my row, to get away from my "best friend." Almost tripping over my own left leg, I sat own next to a black hair kid, a blonde cute and a hot pink haired vixen. _Stupid Kiba._

I stayed there too. After he realized, I heard him growl again, from behind the back of the black haired kid. He shot back daggers in his fiery red eyes, Kiba cowered and never bothered me again.

During lunch which I was eating all by myself for the first time since I got there, after I was done Kiba ambushed me, sitting down next to me, straddling the round gray stone benches we use for lunch, apologizing, tell me he would give my new friends a chance.

"Alright, Kiba,but no funny business, like today. You growled at me!" Pointing at my face…"Me, your only other friend apart from the mutt you got."

"Ah, *sigh* I'll give em a chance, I said it, did'n' I? Buds" Extending out his hand...

Sighing, I said, "Buds." taking the last swig of my orange juice, now kinda sour, we casually walked back to class, while talking about justus and techniques Kiba found in a ninja mag.

A week later, Shikamaru and I became close friends, closer than Kiba and I had been. He was going to invite me over to his house today for the first time. I know people didn't like me much so I shrugged it off, but I hope his parents liked me. Around 2:15. 45 minutes to the bell, before changing from the special padded uniforms we wore doing katas and justus, he motioned. We left right then and there. His house was on the other side of town so were had to leave then, and his dad was busy, so we hopped roof to roof until we got to this huge compound that looked like a military barracks.

"Whoa, what…what is that, Shika?"

"Guess…" He drawled with a small smirk.

"A tower…a place to hole up ninja..?"

With a big grin, he said, "Close. THAT'S my house."

"Holy….holy crap…that…" I motioned encompassing the whole place that looked like a base,"is your house. No way! How can anyone be so rich?" Trying to pick out details against the dusk enveloping us now, with the last vestiges of the Sun just gone.

Shrugging, "Yep. My family's pretty big. Oh…right, you are…what a drag…" Embarrassed, he scratched the back of his head with his hand and then sighed, became quiet and ran off.

Finally getting into the main hall with its ornate dragon murals and fish tanks, along with its Earth style columns and its pagodas, well, I was stunned how beautiful this place was, despite the darkness.

"Ma, Dad, we're back."

Then, out came a woman in her 40s, brown hair, wearing a white sweater and light gray pajama pants, with large green , harsh eyes. Attractive, but you could see she was angry.

"Shikamaru Inogen Nara, why did come home a hour late, did you take this poor soul on the 'scenic route'. I told you not to do that. This dashing young man,"she said with a hint of a blush,"must be tired as well as malnourished, by the looks of things." She said, cupping my face with long, soft hands. Her eyes seemed very caring and sad now, not like before. I almost cried right there.

Startled, she said, bopping herself on the forehead, "Where are my manners? I am Yoshiko, Shika's mom, very nice to meet you, Naruto. We have heard a few stories about you." "Any good ones?," I said tearing up. Hugging me to prevent my embarrassment, she remarked, "only good stories, Naru-chan. I am sorry but I am cooking something, make yourselves at home. Shikamaru…good job."

"Yeah, yeah," waving his mom off,"I've got it, when's dinner? When's Dad coming home tonight?"

"In an hour, dear, and uh, your father's been here all day. It is that time of year, or did you forget?"

"IN AN hour, its like 8." I pointed out.

Face palming, Shika sighed, then started, nudging me"Don't worry, Naruto, my mom's a drag, but she's almost as a cook as that place we went to last night, remember? Anyway, we have bigger problems. My dad's home and has been home for the day."

"What's wrong with that? He can't do that?"

Shaking his head, he retorted, "Nah, that's not it. One, if my dad is home, there's a reason why. Two, once he stays home for more than three hours during the day, he gets grumpy, mean and I mean like 'Hokage slamming the Council mad'. You do NOT want to meet him like that." Then I saw him do something creepy, he smiled like a cheshire cat. "Believe it." For some reason, when he used my bad stutter habit, I got chills and shives all up and down my spine. I frowned.

At that moment, the big green, dragon-covered double door down the hall, slammed open with a big force we had to cover our ears from bleeding. Looking at Shika, I had never seen him this nervous before. I gulped. What was I going to witness? A massacre? A big oaf rushing the door injuring all of us?

Suddenly, we saw what looked like white light coming out from the pitch blackness. We gasped….it was a beautiful girl. Dressed in a purple kimono with a red and blue sash, calomplete with creepy flawless whitish skin and almost ice-like eyes, stepped out. Then I saw what my friend meant. I saw a guy that looked just like my friend but much older with a scowl on his face.

"Yashino, we have a guest tonight. Make preparations."

Looking at the white kitchen, I could barely see her nod yes and bow.

Looking back, startled and frozen, Shikamaru was left like a battleshocked vet, with his mouth, feet and arms wide open. Snapping out of it, he snapped into a deep bow to the little girl who looked to be only a few years younger than us, like maybe five or six. (I was nine at the time.) I didn't get it.

All of the sudden, I hear, " Son, who is this intruder? You knew we had a guest."

Sighing, he retorted back: " You never told me who, Dad. This is Naruto from the Academy. I told you he was coming today for weeks. Geez." He said all this while still prostrating himself to the delicate almost deathly-ill looking girl.

Just great, I thought, his weirdo girl, now this?

With his arms folded still behind him the whole time, Shika's dad, said, "Oh *ahem* I see, that's right. Welcome, Naruto, to our humble home. We have prepared a special honor for being a such a good friend to our Shikamaru."

That's when I fell from embarrassment for Shika. _This is humble? I'd love to see what they consider 'grand?'_ Scratching the top the top of9my head, I noticed her. With eyes that stared right into my soul, with an eerie calm, she held out a delicate fragile right arm. I looked her up and down to make sure I wouldn't break her before I shook her hand, ever so delicately, like as if she was made from glass. Then, Shika's dad grabbed her shoulders from the back with a lot of force. Not gonna lie, I jumped and flinched. I half expected to see half of a stone or sand sculpture on the attractive tile floor lying dead. Instead I saw the girl just smiling, calmly, almost beaming. I had to double blink.

 _What is this place?_

Laughing as if I had told the world's funniest joke, Shika's father started: "Naruto Uzumaki, meet Azumi, Shika's second cousin on his mother's side…" Pointing towards his wife, who I am sure was beaming with pride,"Azumi is 10, who's going to be 11 next month, right honey?" She looked up at him with great affection and with a nod answers him. "No need to worry, my young friend, she's not made from glass…she is only an albino. It runs in our family. " Leaning on her a little, " Name is Shikaku. Nice to meet a legend." Taking his hand with a happy smile, I go: "You belong to T&I. You know of me?" Seeing he's been caught unawares, his shock goes to a mischievous smirk. "Yes, that's right. Legendary. The legendary prankster. Who do you think sics the ANBU on you to keep you out of trouble? Me!" Pointing to himself with a big thumb. Rubbing his nose, he walks off to the light small wooden dinner table, much smaller than I thought for a room this gigantic. My friend follows, with little Azumi tailing him and tugging on hiss mesh shirt as if she were 4, yelling "Shika-A-Maru! Shika-A-Maru!" As Yoshiko passes me with fried clams, Shika calls, " Come on, bud, food's getting cold! Sheesh!"

When I got to the warm light of the chandelier above the small and humble wooden table, I noticed something. The girl was patting a chair right by her, across from Shikamaru. I shrugged—I didn't care where I sat. Smelling the catfish, clams and venison that are common but fancy, "gourmet", I think it's called, in the Leaf, I looked and saw pig, duck and even a small lobster. I was amazed..my eyes must have been bugging out because I heard a quiet little laugh to my left.

The next five minutes were spent eating in silence. Utter silence, and even though this would normally drive up the wall, I was glad to focus on my meal instead of whatever was going on to my left. Looking up briefly, I felt compelled to look left…and regretted it. Izumi was staring at me with this huge pale almost ice colored blue eyes. I saw something weird so I flinched and never looked back. I couldn't unseen it though. Azumi had a dark liquid hanging from her cute nose. I suddenly felt a bit ill, but eating seemed better than disappointing Shikamaru, so I continued. Maybe if I focused, it'd go away.

It worked like a charm until I felt a sock on my leg ten minutes later. It started out hesitant, then grew bolder with sweeping motions. Luckily I finished eating soon thereafter. Taking a deep breath in, I looked underneath the table to confirm my suspicion. I paled a little—I was right; Azumi was playing footsy with me! _Great, just what I need. A kid playing some kinda weird game with me. I don't like it. She's weird…and kinda creepy!_ I took the hint and excused myself to the bathroom, once out of clear sight, I ran there to catch my breath and calm down. Closing the door and locking the top latch, I screamed and put my hands on my knees in a quasi-fetal position then shivered. Thankfully, we had learned meditation by then so it took me only four minutes to recover. Then I looked myself in the mirror, big sky blue eyes staring back hard,as if to let me know I was pissed. I already knew that! Then I pulled my kinda fluffy hair a bit, then like that never happened, I walked back to the table, cool as a cucumber.

When I got back, the table was abuzz. Everyone was speaking at once. Yoshino was using a firm voice to I think stop her husband from being hard on Shika; his dad was poking his fingers own the table and getting in my friend's face, and Shika was sighing, then raising his voice to defend himself, I don't what from. Funnily enough, even Azumi joined in, just plain screeching, I think for everyone to stop. I just sat there in amazement then I covered my ears to the racket. To that, Shika said something I could understand,e even with my hands muffling my ears: "See? Even Naruto knows this is messed up. I'm outta here! I promised him a tour and a fun night!" With that, he signaled me with a forefinger towards him, left the table, so I just followed. All fell silent. On the way out, I waved goodbye with the back of my hand.

"What the heck did I miss, Shika?"

"Not much, believe me. Naruto, *sigh*, listen, I am sorry about this. I thought I had prepared enough. I just forgot my cousin was coming. Her family told us it was going to be NEXT month, not this one. Anyway, it's late, but I can still show the cool stuff, like the lake that's our pool and uh, let's see, the shogo and billiards table. I can even show the armory. Up to you. It is 10, though, so if you wanna head out that's cool too."

Squinting and thinking hard, I said, "Shika, I don't pretend to know, but whatever THAT is, it's still better, far better than what's waiting for me at home. I'm getting a bit woozy, but I can still make it home. I'll stay a bit. Billiards? That's cool! LET's go and also see the awesome ninja gear! Yay!"

Grabbing my shoulder and grinning/smirking, he responded, "That's right. No way will I let a friend of mine rot in a boring place like yours…I'll show ya what I can. We'll play pool and then I'll show you my shogo board by the outdoor pool and fire pit before you go. You'll love that."

Dashing through the halls, in pitch blackness, we treated the tour like a mission and we practiced with our kana along the way, making up different sides we were on; it was actually fun. By the time I saw the billiard table and knocked the ball around with my hand and cue, I didn't feel like much. That's when he lead me to the fire pit….that was awesome!

There ShoGo board was five feet away from the pool and the pit on the opposite side. Shika stoked the fire already burning, and as 10ft flames went almost straight up, keeping us toasty in the winter night. My eyes went big and I looked into the fire for like an eternity. Shika then showed me the basics of his game: ShoGo. It was a basic game; 20 pieces each side, two teams vying for domination, and all kinds of ways to take the enemy. Not my game, but he made it come alive. Once, I even beat him, after the second mini-game, though he took it easy on me.

Not long after my victory cry, and as we set up for a another game in the backlight of the warm orange light of the white and black checkered board, we feel some familiar chakra…Shika lays back suddenly and groans. It's his family.

"' 'Maru, it is past 11 now. I think we should let your friend travel home now, don't you think?"

"…"

"Dear, don't get too riled up, let him have his fun…We will have someone travel with you home, so we know you will be alright. Sorry about the fuss earlier. We like you, right, dear?" To that, I scratch the back of my head.

"Hn…" A nudge to the ribs. "Uh, yeah, you are welcome here anytime. Next time not so late, so we can give you the grand tour, OK?"

Shika sighs. "What a drag, just wanted my friend to see my awesome house…." Then an unexpected smile. "Sleepover."

"No. It's a school night."

Glares between what could be twins.

"Not now, geez….Friday."

A heavy sigh. "I don't like it, but I am not here. So, yes, OK, Naruto you can come on Friday after class."

"YES!" We both go. A glint in the eyes of my friend, still on his back, bathed in he light of the firepit.

"I wouldn't be so happy if I were you boy," his dad outright chuckled, " because you gotta finish some homework tonight AND we have a meeting tomorrow morning bright and early. You didn't forget that too, right?"

"Uggh."

With a fist bump to my friend, a hug from his mom and then being tackled by Azumi, who I thought was some princess, now with disheveled hair, wouldn't let go of me. After everyone pried the 5 year old off, she came back for another hug and whispered, "Please come back. Please." Astonished, I almost cried, but wiped those from my eyes and waved goodbye. Next to me was a ANBU guard, Cat.

Shika dn His dad walked into the family hall. They were greeted two men, three women and a young lady. "Shikaku! Is she safe?"

"Yes, Lord Renzou! I made sure of it myself."

Renzou looked like a miserable old hermit on the outsidewith his long white hair strew about inm the wind, but his voice hid dignity and power.

"Good…now we can finally solidify the ties between the Leaf and the Water Lily Village and the Ports. As it was the Whirlpool, so it shall be with us."

"Indeed, will be our honor to regain all that we lost these ten years."

Nodding, Renzou said, "Let us see her. So we may check her physical health."

Beckoning with his forefinger and middle middle, Shikaku brought out three people: a doctor, an ANBU guard and Azumi.

Coming four feet away from Renzou, she bowed deeply, "Hello, father. Will I be going home soon?"

"Yes, my precious. But first, we must ascertain if the voyage here has harmed you in any way. Please follow the nurse in front."

Nodding silently, she disappeared with a formal-looking foreign nurse, out of view.

"Master—"

Frowning, he sighed. "What is the complication, dear Shika?"

Bowing to hide his embarrassment, Shikaku, he scratched his back nervously. "Well, Azumi, uh….she had a…she had n 'episode.'"

Shocked, Renzou asked,"How? I made sure she could not feel any emotion. Explain yourself!"

"Well my son had a friend come over, the NineTails Boy—"

"Don't call him that… you told me to be nice to him!"

"NOT NOW Shikamaru!"

Halting the fight with a hand gesture, he smirked. "I think I see. The boy seems to generate emotion out of people. It is still not ideal." Stroking his bald chin like a mad scientist, he pondered the next move.

Turning to Shikamaru, he asked: " You seem to be old enough to be here, but maybe not with me interrupting the normal family routine. Still, you seem extraordinarily bright, young man. Tell me what happened with your friend and my daughter?"

"Not so sure…I can pick up on just about anything but this was different. One moment she was clamoring happily for me then she was I guess, 'flirting' with my friend…he didn't seem to like it but it was comedy gold."

"I see. Flirting, you say? Of all the things…part of her 'programming' was to develop faster than normal, mentally and physically , but this? This is…"

"Complicated…" Both said the word and sighed at the same time. Shikamaru was just confused.

"So my cousin is…not a ninja, but she was experimented on? OH Kami, she's it, isn't she Dad? The file you try to keep locked away. I looked at it a few times."

Both men were shocked.

"What? I got bored. What else is a genius going to do.

She is the….project FIRE BLOSSOM I read about. Like the priestess from Mountain Country, the one you are all tracking, I suspect. You telling me she has to power to burn a village to the ground with her mind? That is insane!"

"As smart as you are, know that you have limits, little one. Yes, My daughter is the Fire Blossom…she will protect our village as have all the chosen women of her lineage. She is special. We don't all have jinchuriki like you have here. Naruto is going to be a hero one day, even if he gets treated like trash now. My people are not that lucky, so we made our own. Keep this in our family, boy, if you value your life. One last thing, since your guest activated my little flower, I will require his presence when she is taken home. That is all." He walked off.

Fearing for his life and for his son's life, Shikaku held back his son from anything else.

For the first time, Shikamaru was crying, and although he is not the type, Shikaku welcomed the boy in for a hug an held onto him for dear life, even shedding a few tears. "We'd better do what the Master says, my beloved son." He whispered in his ear.

Waking up, as from a long dream, I bolted out of bed and into the street. Barely catching my breath, I thought, _Today's gonna be an epic day!_

 _Having breakfast with Grampa Hokage and my new best new friend does not happen…EVER! I can't wait._

Smiling freely, I get to the newest restaurant in town, THE Drunken Toad. _Weird name, wahtever..._

Everyone is there already…Grampa, Shikamaru, Iruka and…. **her.** I flinched, but tried to keep it cool. I went in.

Slinking in, or trying to, everyone cheered when they saw me.

"Told you it was him. No one else has that chakra. Pay up, Iruka."

"Yes, Hokage." Iruka gave the Third 2000 ryo.

"Thank you, Professor. You know they don't pay me enough since the last Ninja War…"

"We know…the village is silly for doing that, Lord."

I run over to the Hokage and give him a bear hug. To which he respoinds, "I may be the God of Ninja but don't forget I am a frail 83 year old man, my future successor," with a huge grin on his tired haggard face.

"Oh come on, Jiji, you'll never die, not unless I am Hokage, Jiji," I retort.

"Naru, Naru, over here," says a small voice." You're so cool."

Scratching the back of my head from embarrassment and pride, "Yeah, I guess so, thanks. You are awesome too, my #1 fan." I reach over Shikamaru and mess up Azumi, to which I get a wiggle and hand over mine and she breigns it to her cheek. "Thanks."

Shikamaru says, "Glad you two made up. Seriously, though, get a room." With a smirk and a bored sigh, with his right arm on the table. Everyone is shocked but then sweatdrops and plays it off.

Giving my friend a hard glare, the Third introduced the party theme, "Okay Okay, we're not here for that, Shikamaru. We're here to celebrate two things: Lady Azumi is going home after five long years on the road, and Naruto, your birthday is ten days away. Happy birthday, son. We are glad you are with us. You bring everyone here so much joy." AT that, I just burst out in tears. "Everyone here is so glad you are here today that ALL of us pitched in for this feast."

Sniffling, and holding back tears, I choke out, "Thanks, Gramps, everyone. I guess I am blessed." Shrugging my shoulders, they all laughed.

Giving them all my winning "Hokage smile", Iruka ordered for everyone. Ten minutes of light conversation later, coupled with memories of both me and that of Azumi, we all dug in. There was lobster, venison, beef teriyaki (something I never tried before), shrimp tempura, ramen, all kinds (I counted five kinds), and miso soup.

" Itadakimasu!" WE said at once….We laughed it off and had our own conversations. During brunch, I looked over at Azumi and thought, _Maybe she's not so bad, after all. she even kinda cute, for a kid._ I must have been looking longer than I thought, because she after awhile of talking to her uncle she looked back and waved. Smiling, I waved back feebly. Finishing of my second miso soup, not wanting to have only ramen but not knowing what, Iruka and Azumi each gave me one thing to try: a stick of shrimp tempura and a glob of beef teriyaki to try. At first, I winced, it looked yucky, but it was Iruka my "elder brother" who gave it, so I shrugged and chowed down. I found that I liked both of them. Seeing my glee, he said, "See, I knew you'd like it." Now with us still digesting, the shop was closing to prepare for dinner. All of a sudden, the shop went dark, in the middle of the day...

All I could hear was shouting a foreign language and I saw a couple of sparks (likely from kumais clashing), I just hit the floor from my crouched sitting position and covered my ears. After what seemed to be an eternity, I felt no chakra and it was quiet, but deafeningly quiet. I got up,it was still dark, but then I hear "Release!" and then the sun came back out again, as if it never left.

"Whoa!" _Did I just imagine that whole thing? Seemed to be like a dream..._

Focussing, I saw all the adults standing and looking like they lost something, both with kunai in their hands, even Shika had one.

"Damn! They got away!"

"Yes, Iruka, they did…they struck at our most vulnerable time too!"

"Where's the Lady?!"

Despondent, he answered, "It is what I feared…the Hidden Mist village finally strikes. I've heard rumors they kidnap dignarities, but this is…disturbing." The old man even rumbled with goosebumps. "To kidnap a girl under the nose of a Hokage! Imposible…OH no…it could only be….Akatsuki! Get me my guard…NOW!" As if the very wind listened to him, four ANBU came out of nowhere. "Sorry, my boy, this celebration is going to be…postponed. I will need to talk to you in a bit so please be good. Let's roll!" Then, the God of Ninja and his men vanished into thin air.

 _Wow! I can't wait until I can do that!_ , I thought with goosebumps all over my body.

Leveling with me, crouching, Iruka stated, in matter of fact tone, "Naruto, I am sorry about this…so sorry…hey you've got goosebumps! Yeah, I remember my dad leaving just like the Hokage and it never got old! What's more amazing is that if you study hard, you'll be to do that too, after graduating." How could he state something so amazing like it was nothing?

Walking out, I just realized something: someone took Azumi, a girl who would hurt no one… _Those creeps! I will not let them hurt her!_ Not realizing that i was running on all fours with red chakra bubbling off and yellow slitted eyes, I simply thought, _I gotta talk to Shikaku._ Off I ran to Shikamaru's house.


End file.
